- I think about my mortality.
- I wonder if my cancer will be gone after treatment.
- I ask myself, why did this happen to me.
- I wonder why those who I thought were friends (even family) have abandoned me during this time.
- In contrast, I think about my true blue pals who support me from afar no matter the distance.
- I question when the proverbial "they" will find a cure for this dreaded cancer plague.
- I ask myself why I'm doing this and what if I give up treatment now verses seeing chemotherapy all the way through.
- I think about what I would do if my cancer comes back.
- I wonder why it seems that cancer is everywhere lately.
- I also consider how my life will be different after my treatment is over.
First, let me address how everyone tells me that my life will be very different after cancer. I don't doubt that for a second. I think back to other big life changing events in my life and I know it to be true. Right now I don't feel any different, but I know I'm going through an evolutionary process in my cancer cocoon each and every day. Looking back I can see how much I changed after my children were born. I changed dramatically after each of my parents died. I changed after my divorce. How can one stare down death's door step, walk away unscathed and not be changed forever! I believe these life changing events are tossed our way to grow and mold us, kinda like karmic lessons designed to advance our soul to a higher level of enlightenment. How you handle each event and how it affects your life is totally your choice and that in itself is part of the lesson too.
|Linda Lewis - magazine editor|
|Christine and Logan Stevenson|
- I choose to blatantly expound on LIVING with chemotherapy via my blog and eventually put my cancer behind me.
- I choose to take my chemotherapy and work like hell to kick cancer's ass.
- I choose to believe that this happened to me as a random life lesson, it's nothing that I caused. All of this will make me a stronger person in the end.
- I choose to sever ties with those "friends" who disappeared through my treatment and never look back.
- I choose to forever cherish those friends who have made beautifully, valiant efforts to support me in this battle from all across the country and around the world. I love you all dearly!
- I choose to embrace all cancer fighting efforts in hopes of demolishing this evil disease.
- I choose to continue my fight, no matter how down trodden, weak and sick I may feel with each compounding treatment.
- I choose to believe that I have caught my cancer early enough and in the immortal words of Kanye West, it'll only make me harder, better, faster and stronger once my treatment is done.