July 12, 2013

Fishing for Ideas

Today was my last day of work until I'm done and recovered from chemo, which should be the end of October, baring any setbacks. I am wrapping up my FMLA leave and then going on short term disability for the remained of my treatments. This was a very difficult decision for me. Because I have type A personality traits, it is hard for me to admit that I'm not 100% capable of performing my job because of my treatments and my current medical condition. I believe we all like to think that we're decedents of Superman or Wonder Woman. But reality bites me in the ass once again and I am reminded that as much as I try to fight it, chemo brain is a harsh, cold reality! My bowels also remind me quite frequently that I am at their beck and call 24-7. I can NOT for one moment think think that I am in charge. No sir. Mr. Colon is in charge! Many a night Mr. Colon has woke me up and reminded me of that fact. Many a day, Mr. Colon has demanded I not leave the confines of my bathroom. We have this real love-hate thing going on. 

So as I sit here on my back porch, watching the squirrels try and bust into the bird feeder, and I wonder what will I do as I sit home during my recovery? I have plenty of books to read from Bourdain to Olsteen. I also have a nice puzzle from Sandy and Peter. I can't stand daytime TV unless it's the Food Channel - BTW I'm starting to really like Giada at Home and that somewhat frightens me! I've started painting again, however being a quasi-type A personality, I get easily frustrated that it takes so long to get anywhere on the project … I might be able to add a layer of paint one day and then spend the next three days sicker than a Gary Busey during his third stint in rehab. Of course, I want my painting done NOW, not three months from now! This is where I need to start practicing what I preach, or at least living up to what I say I'm going to do, and that is MEDITATE … slow down …. enjoy the process and not rush to the outcome. What was I thinking when I said THAT?! LOL.

My painting - a work in progress

So if you have any ideas, post them here. I'm sure there is something I haven't thought of yet! 

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