June 4, 2013

Lessons from The Big C

Today is a bad day. I had so much hope when my second cycle went so well, I actually thought I'd be able to breeze through all consecutive cycles the same way. Well, not so much. I liken today to being hit by a Mack Truck. I'm extremely lethargic, yet unable to sleep. I intermittently lose feeling in my hands and my fingers cramp and contort in ways I can't control on my own. I stumble through sentences, feeling an occasional bouts of chemo brain. I've feel nauseous even with my anti-nausea medicine. The hot flashes are coming fast and furious, so much so I swear I will spontaneously combust. Blah, blah blah… I could go on and on but I'd just scare off any readers I've accumulate up to this point! 

So what does one do when one is home from work dealing with the backlash of chemotherapy? Why watch The Big C of course! I was sad to see that the final season is only 4 episodes, however each one packs a big punch. The whole series was so well written and touched me deeply, more so now than ever before. During the series finale of the Big C there is a scene that really resonates with me. It is Cathy's conversation with the Priest, Rabbi and the Muslim imam (I think that is what a Muslim priest is called) when she was at Hospice. The Muslim imam said, "Your illness it not just to test you, but to test he charity of others. Have you seen generosity and kindness in the people around you? Well, we believe that beauty and the knowledge of that goodness is Allāh." …. WOW! 

Over the past two months I have been humbled by the generosity of friends both near and far. As I said in an earlier post, I get cards, gifts and well wishes via emails or posts every day. To me it's not the material objects that give me a rush, it's that fact that for some reason I am blessed to be surrounded by so many people who genuinely care about me. Pre-cancer Linda never sat and truly considered that there would be a time when she would feel such a warm embrace from all these smiling faces that she's collected throughout her lifetime. She simply was drawn to those who were like minded. Cancer Linda is now reminded on a daily basis how blessed she is to have such an amazing circle of friends. You share your generosity and kindness with me. The knowledge of that goodness is God. WOW!

I started a wall of cards with all the well wishes I've receive via snail mail. The power of the hand written word on the inside of a Hallmark card still has amazing heartfelt power. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't in any way diminish the other well wishes I've received electronically, those are also a thing of beauty that I cherish! The cool thing about my wall of cards is that is serves as my daily visual reminder that I am not in this alone. Each of those cards represent all the people that is on my side, friends who truly care and are rooting for me to kick cancer's ass! Again, the goodness that is God. 

In the words of The Big C's Cathy Jamison, LUCKY ME …. LUCKY ME. 

My wall of cards ~ It's a thing of beauty!

1 comment:

  1. Actually it is all of us who are humbled by you, my friend. Your strength, courage, joy...all which makes up our beautiful Linda. I know I speak for many when I say you inspire and amaze.
    Love you!