April 9, 2013

Waiting is the Hardest Part

First thing in the morning I call and leave a message for Dr. N. to call me. I want my pathology results.


Around 2pm I call again. “Please have someone call me with the results from my pathology report.” Pretty sure I sound desperate. But hey, if desperate gets me a call back, then I'm all for it!

Around 3:30 my phone rings. I see the caller ID. My heart falls to my stomach. My stomach sinks to my knees. It’s Dr. N. He starts talking about the polyp and the part of the colon he removed. The whole time I am certain there is a “but” coming. He proceeds to tell me how my intestine looked good and the cancer didn't work it’s way through the intestinal wall BUT ...

The cancer did move outside of the colon and was found in two of the fifteen surrounding lymph nodes.  He said we’d discuss this in detail at our appointment on Thursday which is good because my mind was going into shut down mode. I had read enough about cancer to know spreading to the lymph nodes is a very bad thing, even if it is only two lymph nodes. I liken cancer cells to cockroaches, where there are two there are two thousand

Cancer is now on the move in my body. Tick-tock. 

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