April 4, 2013

Nurse Ratched Lives!

My first night in the hospital is horrible. I have the pleasure of Nurse Ratched watching over me. Around midnight she comes in and offers me a 8 ounce soda or juice. Thankfully I have the presence of mind to know that was a big no-no. I don’t know if I read that in my pre-surgery research or what, all I know is that it would be a horrible mistake to drink liquids this soon after surgery.

So I tell her, “I’m not suppose to drink liquids for the first 24 hours.”

“It says you’re on a liquid diet" pointing to my chart on the white board, "Yes you can.”

I disagree, “No. I’m pretty sure that is a bad idea given the surgery I just had.”

She stomps out of the room and returns about 10 minutes later. “You can have ice chips. Do you want some?” she says in a snotty voice.

“Sure.” I say.

Quite an accurate likeness!! LOL

The rest of the night is pure torture as if on purpose. I can tell when I’m not liked and Nurse Ratched does NOT like me. Every shot she gives me is done with a hard jab. The IV alarm keeps going off about every 20 minutes for some fucked up reason, thus meaning I need to ring the nurse’s station for assistance. She mets me with disdain every time she enters my room. I think I slept a total of 2 hours all whole night.

The shift change at 9 am makes me so happy! Thank God I get an awesome nurse after my night from hell! Sharon is a fun, smart assy, straightforward nurse. She knows her shit and wasn't about to take anyone’s shit either!

Toward the end of Sharon’s shift I work up the nerve to ask her who my nurse is for the night. I confessed that last night was awful and I couldn't deal with lack of sleep and Nurse Ratched again. Sharon makes sure I get assigned a sweet nurse. Finally I got some sleep!! 

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